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A 60-year-old man does not fantasize about a 60-year-old woman. But I have come to learn that this means they think of themselves as friendly.They are "glass half-full kind of people." That's very nice. The prophet tells us, "Your old will have visions; your young will dream dreams." Elderly women in a retirement community in Mill Valley protested the war in Iraq on a busy thoroughfare with placards every Friday for years.A man I know of 22, halfway to a medical degree, is pursuing ballet dreams in New York City.

He had stopped to inspect the body, because he was worried that it was his son, although his son rode a dramatically different brand of motorcycle. I liked him, though, and we exchanged adorable and kicky emails, arranging another date, for sushi, and he was lively, cultured and sort of charming.

You're not dream-greedy to want, say, a cool career and a mate.

And having realized this one long-shot dream with my grown child gave me the confidence to try something even harder: to date.

He had gotten out, talked to the police, and gotten a peek at the corpse. I recommended that we reschedule to a day when he hadn't seen any dead people. But at lunch, he accidentally forgot to ask me anything about my life during the first 45 minutes of the conversation.

It was fascinating, that we did not get around to me until that one question. The next guy was also highly cultured, a creative venture capitalist, who was familiar with my work, and turned out to be a truly excellent conversationalist. (Of course, I mostly talked to my single friends and to Sam about Match.) They knew how brave it was of me to go on dates. This pattern repeated -- a flurry of dates, followed by radio silence on the man's part -- and made me mourn the old days, when you met someone with whom you shared interests, chemistry, a sense of humor, and you started going out.

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